If you've been to Wrexham, or from there, youknow all about the Armchair Politics in the pubs and the fact you can't get a Bus after 10:30 at night. But if you aren't I'll use this first entry to give you a bit of a flavour for the area. The best way to do that would be excerpts from the rag that makes Reuters jealous, The Evening Leader.
Well, I say Evening Leader, but it's not that anymore. The one thing it used to have going for it is that it wasn't published until the afternoon, meaning you could get the mornings news that day in written form, delivered by an urchin between the hours of 3pm and 5pm. However, that seemed like too good an idea, so a few weeks back they moved to a more normal newspaper model of publishing the night before for morning distribution, thus stripping it of it's only notable quality, and putting the publication on the same level as "Spot the Dog goes to Jonathan King's house" as regards a decent and important read. Only the Leader is possibly more offensive.
The best part of this bog read is the lettess page. Weighty, intelligent, well thought out opinions that make George Bernard-Shaw and Noam Chomsky look like a less eloquent hybrid between Ian Wright and Jade Goody's mam find their home on this page of visionary critiques of the Bin Collection Policy. For your reading pleasure, I shall bang some of them down here, so you can read them and bask in the glories of their high impact intelligentia.
WEDNESDAY NOVEMBER 11th 2009
UNBAGGED WASTE FOOD A HEALTH ISSUE
THE health and safety brigade has rapidly gained a Reputation for it's "nannying" interference.
Why is it then, that when we are instructed by the council to put waste food (unwrapped) into a wheelie bin. to be collected once a fortnight, the zealots of the H&S barely raise an eyebrow?
I'm no expert, but I do think that this disgusting practice constitutes a fairly serious health hazard! Surely, this problem presents the H&S with an ideal opportunity to do something really useful.
Allowing us to "bag" waste food would be a step in the right direction.
JB Dunbebin,
Address Supplied,
Wrexham
Well, a lot to think about there, eh? I'd like to point out first that Dunbebin is a great name. Can I just say that I was shocked that the first letter I saw in yesterdays paper when I decided to type one up for here was about The Bins. JB also made sure to keep to the rules for letter posting in the Leader. Our Good Friend Dunbebin made sure to shoehorn a reference to nannying in there, as well as disdain for Health and Safety. I imagine Dunbebin has a thrist for thrills and danger, and loves nothing more than diving off a 10 metre platform into a big pool of syringes, broken glass and signed pictures of Richard Littlejohn. In fact, all this letter lacks is the obligatory "You couldn't make it up!" closely followed by a "Political Correctness gone mad!".
However, I honestly can't see why having mixed food in a bin is that bad for health and safety, unless discarded Chips and Peach Melba Yoghurt has this majestic chemical reaction which results in some kind of super AIDS. I do like the word "bag" in inverted commas as well, like bag was a euphemism for something. Total and utter bollocks, perhaps. Basically, all I can glean from this letter is that Dunbebin didn't really have an issue and just wanted to have a bit of a moan about "The Nanny State" and "Health and Safety Nazis". "Health and Safety Nazis" being a phrase I've never understood, because Hitler killed a shitload of people, and Health and Safety being meant to stop people being dead. But I'm young, so according to Wrexham I'm too busy stealing off Old people while raping them with a drug laced knife.
You couldn't make it up.
No comments:
Post a Comment